Infertility: Missing Out While Holding It All In

No one talks about the way infertility makes you disappear.

You miss baby showers. Gender reveals. Holidays. Even ordinary dinners with friends. Not because you don’t care, but because sometimes being around that much joy when you’re quietly breaking feels impossible.

I missed so much. Weddings. Family vacations. Birthdays.
Some of them because I was deep in treatment—think: stim shots on Thanksgiving, an egg retrieval on Memorial Day. Others I skipped because I just couldn’t stomach another “So when are you having kids?” conversation while holding back tears.

Infertility doesn't just test your body, it isolates your heart.
It makes you feel like a ghost in your own life. Always showing up with a smile while silently carrying the weight of hormone injections, failed cycles, and hope stretched thin.

And the truth is, most people don't get it. Even the most well-meaning friends don’t realize how painful it is to scroll through another baby announcement when your meds are making you feel like a stranger in your own skin. Or how isolating it feels to sit in a crowded waiting room at the fertility clinic, surrounded by others but feeling completely alone.

But you're not alone. You’re not broken. And you’re not the only one missing out right now.

If you have the means and the time, try to go on that trip you’ve been putting off — whether it’s a weekend getaway with your partner or a solo escape to reconnect with yourself. You won’t regret making space to breathe again. Because in this journey, depending on your situation, it’s either you and your partner… or just you. And you are still in there, even if infertility has made it harder to feel like yourself.

Infertility can make you feel like you've vanished, like life is moving on without you while you're stuck in a loop of waiting, hoping, and hurting. It’s okay to grieve the parts of life you’ve had to pause. It’s okay to feel like the world doesn’t understand.

But let this be your reminder:
You are still here.
Still worthy.
Still enough.

Even in the waiting.
Even in the missing.
You matter.